Ssoooooooooooooo ssssssleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy. So why the hell aren't I in bed? Obviously my baby is, or I wouldn't be writing this. It's just that even moms need a few minutes to just be themselves once in a while. Plus I need to vent, and to say a few things about how awesome Av is.
The day started at 7am after the second night in a row of El waking up every 20 minutes (I'm not exaggerating), crying and/or wanting to nurse. GW was downstairs with her last night for a couple hours, probably at about 3am, I don't know. This morning was probably the worst I've felt since El was born. She's really, on average, not a bad sleeper - the past few nights have been unusual. You never really know for sure what the deal is with babies this young, but our guess is a combination of developmental stuff and tummy trouble. Anyway, this morning I felt like I'd spent the night being chased by rhinos while running uphill dodging a rock slide. I subtly hinted to GW that it might be a good idea for him to take the day off. By subtly hinting I mean I begged him outright. He said no, too bad, you're on your own, and it serves you right for all the cruel stuff you did to your mother when you were a baby. Yep, that's what he said. There I go, being sarcastic again. Hey, it makes me feel better. When you're this tired, you get license to do things you wouldn't normally get away with, like aggressively blaming others for your problems and disabusing the people you claim to love.
My wonderful friend E. rescued me from a morning of feeling sorry for myself. She came over with a playmate for Av (her beyond-cute 2 year-old daughter) and fudge. She kept me company and poured me green tea until I started to feel a little less like a bug squashed under somebody's shoe. Her visit was so rejuvenating that I later mustered the energy for a short grocery run. Of course, that went without a hitch. Oh, wait. No it didn't. See, it was sprinkling out, and supposed to rain harder later, so I swept up the kids pretty quickly after lunch and got everybody's shoes on, if not hair brushed. I opened the door to go out to the car and somebody opened the Great Fawcet In The Sky right at that moment, but I soldiered on, knowing that if I kept my big mouth shut on my complaints, Av would be delighted to go out in the rain. I did, and she was. Get the baby in, buckle up, drive drive drive and here we are at the grocery store, rain's back to a light drizzle, yay. Open the side door to a smiling baby and a really big smell. Yep, the little babe who hasn't crapped for a week has finally voided her bowels. It's a wonderful thing, really, something I would have celebrated in a big way if we'd been at home - lots of clapping and excitement and praise, maybe even streamers. But we're at the grocery store and it's raining and of course I didn't bring the diaper bag. Well.....I just made it a really fast shopping trip, and poor little El didn't get as many admirers as she's used to on an outing like that, because the smell around her was like a force field about eight feet in diameter, keeping her would-be friends at smiling distance. I know, I'm a bad mommy. Tell me something I don't know.
Other than my angelic friend coming over this morning, what got me through today was Av's little girl wit. When I can't find my keys, she's like, "This is a job for Diamond Bat Girl!!" (one of her alter-egos) and goes running off somewhere to help me find them. When she catches me looking forlorn as I bring a sobbing El downstairs after my eleventh attempt to put her down for a nap, Av runs over and tries (in vain, but still) to make her laugh. She cracks these clever jokes that I can only imagine she picks up at school, or maybe she watches more Jimmy Neutron than I know about. One of them I have to share - this was at bedtime, and we'd gotten through most of the routine but had apparently forgotten to have her go to the bathroom. She comes up to the bed where I'm nursing El and says, "If you're having a tea party? Remember not to drink too much tea or you'll have to.....have to.....I'll be right back!" and she dashes off down the hall. I mean, that is damn funny, is it not? Where does she get this stuff? I love it. Thanks, Av, for being such an awesome kid. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm glad you're mine.
oh, you are so sweet. i remember those days of no sleep way to well. i'm glad we could come over.
ReplyDeleteand the bad parent... WHATEVER. i've totally been there... HAD the diaper bag.... with no diapers in it and a stinky one i just threw away and wrapped my baby's butt in her big brother's shirt. that's right, took off his shirt, put it on her butt, and put his jacket back on. so there. your shopping trip was probably faster not having to fake smile at all the "i don't freakin know you but i'm smiling cause you think that telling me my baby is cute is news to me" people makes life happen faster. and quite frankly, i think that you could probably make millions bottling the smell of baby crap for that EXACT reason!